Here's the letter our beloved Waxberry received:

URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL

FROM: MRS. MARIAM ABACHA
KANO- NIGERIA
E-MAIL: mariam55abacha@yahoo.com

ATTN: CHAIRMAN/CEO

DEAR SIR,

HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY? HOPE FINE. HOW IS YOUR BUSINESS? HOPE EVERYTHING IS VERY GOOD.

I AM MRS MARIAM ABACHA, THE WIDOW OF THE LATE GEN. SANI ABACHA WHO WAS THE FORMER NIGERIAN PRESIDENT AND WHO DIED RECENTLY IN OFFICE AS A RESULT OF CARDIAC ARREST.

SINCE THE DEATH OF MY HUSBAND MY FAMILY HAS BEEN UNDER RESTRICTION OF MOVEMENT AND OUR BANK ACCOUNTS BOTH LOCAL AND FOREIGN HAS BEEN FROZEN BY THIS PRESENT NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT. ALSO SOME MONEY IN BOTH FOREIGN AND LOCAL CURRENCIES ABOUT $700MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS AND DUTCH 450 MILLION DUTCH MARK ALL IN CASH WERE RECOVERED FROM OUR APARTMENT.

WHEN MY LATE HUSBAND (LATER PRESIDENT SANI ABACHA) WAS IN REGIME, WITH THE HELP OF SOME GERMAN BUSINESSMEN, HE WAS ABLE TO MOVE SOME SUIT CASES (4) CONTAINING FOREIGN CURRENCY TOTALING US$100 MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS WITH A SECURITY COMPANY IN SOUTH AFRICA FOR SAFE KEEPING AND THE SECURITY COMPANY IN SOUTH AFRICA HAS SPOKEN TO ME TO COME AND CLAIM OUR LUGGAGE IN THEIR CUSTODY.

I, PERSONALLY APPEAL TO YOU SIR, WITH THE MERCIES OF GOD TO ASSIST US IN TAKING AWAY THIS MONEY FROM THE SECURITY COMPANY IN SOUTH AFRICA TO A SAFE BANK ACCOUNT FOR INVESTMENT PURPOSE, SINCE I CAN NOT DO ANYTHING NOW THAT I AM UNDER HOUSE ARREST.

SIR, IT MAY INTEREST YOU TO KNOW THAT RECENTLY A SIMILAR TRANSACTION WAS CARRIED OUT WITH ONE MR. SIGNORE PAOLO LUIGI, A DIRECTOR OF MILANO CONSTRUCTION S.P.A ITALY. AFTER THE AGREEMENT BETWEEN US IN WHICH HE WAS TO TAKE 20% OF THE USD$25 MILLION IN ONE OF THE BOXES IN THE SECURITY COMPANY IN SOUTH AFRICA, THE DOCUMENTS WERE SIGNED BY HIM AND ONE OF THE BOXES WERE GIVEN TO HIM AS THE ORIGINAL BENEFICIARY WHICH HE TOOK TO ITALY. WE WERE DISAPPOINTED ON OUR ARRIVAL IN ITALY TO DISCOVER THAT MR. SIGNORE PAOLO LUIGI WAS NO WHERE TO BE FOUND. THIS WAS HOW WE LOST USD$25 MILLION FROM THE USD$100 MILLION AND WE ARE NOW LEAF WITH USD$75 MILLION IN THYE SECURITY COMPANY IN SOUTH AFRICA WHICH YOU WILL HELP- US TO KEEP IN YOUR CUSTODY.

I, AND MEMBERS OF MY FAMILY HAVE AGREED TO LET YOU HAVE 20% OF THE TOTAL FUNDS FOR WHATEVER ASSISTANCE YOU HAVE DECIDED TO RENDER .PLEASE BE PREPARED TO TRAVEL TO SOUTH AFRICA TO CLEAR THIS BOXES AS WE ARE GOING TO PRESENT YOU AS THE BENEFICIARY OF THIS BOXES WITH THE DOCUMENTS IN OUR HANDS.

PLEASE CONTACT ME THROUGH THE ABOVE EMAIL ADDRESS TO DISCUSS THE MODALITY OF THIS TRANSACTION. HOWEVER, PLEASE TREAT THIS AS A TOP SECRET AND BE PREPARED TO DO MORE LUCRATIVE BUSINESS WITH US. SIR I AM GIVING YOU 100% ASSURANCE THAT THERE IS NO RISK INVOLVED IN THIS TRANSACTION. PLEASE TRUST US AS WE HAVE ALREADY TRUSTED YOU. SIR YOU BARE THE ONLY ONE NOW THAT I KNOW THAT WILL, HELP ME AND MY FAMILY.

AWAITING YOUR URGENT AND FAVOURABLE RESPONSE.
BEST REGARDS.

MRS. MARIAM ABACHA
PLEASE TREAT WITH CARE AND TOP SECRET. GOD BLESS YOU.


And this is his reply:
WELL I AM WAXBERRY, OF THE WORLDLY REKNOWNED CLANBERRIES, WE ARE A MUSTERY GROUP, AND AS A GROUP WE SHALL ALL CLAIM YOUR MONEY FOR YOU, BUT WE DO REQUIRE 25% OF THE POT, AND WE WISH TO HAVE IT PLACED IN AN OFFSHORE SWEDISH BANK ACCOUNT AND INVESTED AS NEEDED.

WE ALSO REQUIRE 4 CAMELS, 3 BULLS, AND 2 JACKASSES FOR EACH OF US TO RIDE THROUGH THE JUNGLES OF AFRICA. WE REQUIRE KEYBOARDS IN WHICH THE CAPS LOCK KEY TURNS OFF, AND A SPELL CHECK WITH USE OF AN ENGLISH DICTIONARY.

THE TRIP TO SOUTH AFRICA SOUNDS EXCITING AND LIKE A NEEDED VACATION THAT WE ALL REQUIRE. THIS SECURITY COMPANY WHICH YOU SPEAK OF, SOUNDS PRIMATIVE. I SUGGEST THAT WE PUT ON MASKS AND CARRY UZI'S AND STORM THE PLACE, AND GRAB ALL THE LOOT AT ONCE, INSTEAD OF JUST A THIRD OF THAT WHICH IS THERE.

IF YOU DECIDE THAT IS THE METHOD YOU WISH TO TAKE, WE WILL REQUIRE USD$35 MILLION OF THE REMAINING USD$75 MILLION.

FOR AN EXTRA $10 MILLION, WE WILL TRACK AND HUNT DOWN THIS DISHONEST MR. SIGNORE PAOLO LUIGI. AFTER WE FIND HIM AND RESCUE YOUR USD$25 MILLION, WE WILL CONTINUE TO TIE HIM TO A POLE AND SHOOT TENNIS BALLS UP HIS ASS UNTIL IT TURNS BLUE.

IF OUR LAST PROPOSAL EXCITES YOU IN THE LEAST BIT, PLEASE NOTE OUR SARCASM, AND REFRAIN FROM EVER CONTACTING US AGAIN, THAT IS UNLESS YOU HAVE A WITTY REPLY, WE ALWAYS ENJOY THOSE.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND

MR. WAX BERRY